Late one cold winter night, after a long and mysterious disappearance, Edmund arrives unannounced at his sister's apartment. He enters, carrying a large duffel bag and a dripping umbrella and he announces his intention to stay the night: "I've washed up on your shore," he says. His sister, Lucy, adrift in her post high-school years, already has plans of her own, and the evening that follows, as Edmund puts it, "turns swiftly hysterical."

Edmund's plans to reconnect with his sister, as well as his plan to exchange the contents of the duffel bag for a good deal of cash, are thwarted by the arrival of Lucy's guests. Billy, Lucy's invicible, irreverant boyfriend is followed by The Professor, a lonely, eccentric, and long-winded academic. They intend to take Lucy to a costumed "date-auction" fundraiser, but what starts to be a night of "good clean fun" winds up going terribly awry, with disasterous consequences for both Lucy and her brother.

The Infants is a two-act play by Keith Lubeley. Read the full text here.